What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and...

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

How did you know you weren't the narc?

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

How can you determine if your therapist has crossed professional boundaries and become too emotionally invested in your relationship as a patient/client?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Make Nazis afraid again!

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

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Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

TEXT:

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Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Have you ever had sex with your mother-in-law? If so, how was it and did your wife ever find out?

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

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Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

How do I cope with the fact that I will never have a girlfriend?

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

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Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...